crave.

2012-02-02T20:21:00.001-08:00

The life lived here beats heavy, the drum rarely letting for the dancer to take a breath. Sunshine is limited, and the gaze past today is cloudy at best. My head is heavy, my eyes are rapid as I strain to lift my eyes above my shuffling feet.

I shuffle.
I trudge.
I work.
I go.
I run.
I fight.
I battle.
I try...oh how I try.

Weary, I already tire of trying. Then clarity comes, the clouds lift momentarily to see a deep purpose. My Jesus, who fought for me says, "I have already won the battle for you, my dear. I have fought, I have tried and I have won. The victory is in Me, and in Me alone. Will you find your worth wholly in me? Will you lift your eyes and see the need for My name to be spoken out loud to the hurting? Stop getting trapped in a mindless routine of effort.

I have found you.
I have found you worthy.
I have found you lovely.
I have found you whole.
I have found you, and claimed you as my own.

Father, I crave you. Father, I crave a kingdom perspective. Remind me again my worth is in you, and in nothing else. Shift my gaze higher, lift my eyes to what matters past tomorrow. When time and space are through, I'll be found in you.

Hoarding, filth, and a picture of the gospel.

2011-08-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

This summer in Memphis, one of the biggest lessons I learned was about the grace and persistence of God. This lesson came from a home that one of my friends worked on for eight weeks. On the outside of the home, it appeared old but fairly put together. But the inside was a different story. The owner of the home was a severe hoarder, storing piles and piles of trash, junk, food, and waste in every nook and cranny. The stench was unbearable, and it was nearly impossible to walk from one room to the other. There were freezers full of decaying meat, and buckets of rotting food under cabinets in the kitchen. Collections of various trinkets rendered rooms uninhabitable.

Cleaning up the home was incredibly emotional for the home owner. Every room and every pile that was sorted through was accompanied by an intense inner-pain by the home owner. It was difficult to let go. The junk represented much internal strife and comfort at the same time.

Volunteers showed up every week to work on the house, and often walked through the front door in shock at the condition of the living space. This was when a living picture of the gospel became to present itself to the volunteers.

Jesus enters into our filth to clean up the mess we are incapable of restoring ourselves. We hold onto our junk, we pile high the sins that we never want anyone else to see. But Jesus willingly walks through the door and begins healing our space. Yes, it can hurt. Yes, it can be painful, and yes, we often put up a fight-but day after day, he comes back. Day after day, he walks through that door and promises freedom from these addictions. No matter how much we fight it, no matter how stubborn we are, he always comes back. And the most beautiful part? He never once asks, "How could you possibly let it get this bad? How could you push me away for so long?" With gentleness and grace, he continually enters into our messiness and makes us like-new.

Praise God for a Savior that keeps coming back. Praise God for a Savior that doesn't ask me for an explanation. Praise God for a Savior that confronts my sin and actively redeems my past.

Eyes Wide Open

crave.

Hoarding, filth, and a picture of the gospel.