The Movement: Legalism

Church is not a place for saintly Christians to display their spiritual resumes, but a refuge of salvation for the doubters and the degraded, the bullied and the bruised, the poor and the prostitute, the hungry and the heroin addict, the thieves and the thoughtful. These are the one Christ came to save. But I'm finding out more and more that we get distracted by the meaningless, shallow things that trip us up from ever reaching Christ. We judge, we criticise, and rip each other apart...

"Did that girl really not do her bible journal?" She is struggling to believe it's true

"He's too good to sing." He is quietly worshipping to himself

"Is she really wearing jeans to church? Slob." Her parents are getting a divorce

"A girl can't read scripture in front of church! " That scripture transformed her life

"Did you hear so-n-so really held hands in the parking lot?" They are secretly falling fast and need love and guidance, not more rules.

"So your actually doubting Christinty is real?" Making her feel doubting is wrong, so she just fakes it to impress.

"You are not allowed to say your're struggling with porn in The Lord's House!" Now he needs love more than anything, and a godly man to help him overcome.

You sinners, DON'T SIN!

This is the mantra I feel crushing me, crushing the church and what God intended it to be. I'm sick of it. It's wrong. We obsess and rack our brains over people's sins and mistakes, while isn't the person judging just as sin wrought at the next. To quote Don miller from Blue Like Jazz, "People often say, 'Love the sinner, hate the sin.' shouldn't it be 'love the sinner, hate your own sin?'"

At this moment I feel done with church. Done with Christan High school. Done with Christian performances and cheesy song lyrics and little christian sayings that half the time we don't even realize what we're saying. I'm exhausted by these legalistic rules. Where is MERCY, where is GRACE, where is LOVE?!

Deep breath.(weehww)


Adonai, the Sovereign one.

Voice.

"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding." Job 37:5

This week I have been so overwhelmed my screaming voices and contradictory opinions. People continue to tell me what they believe and that they are right. Commercials, chapel speakers, politicians, friends, family, colleges, music, ...all these voices are mashing into my brain, leaving my gasping for air. Can we all just stop for a moment please?!?

I long for one day for God to speak to me just me. I'm flesh through and through, easily being distracted and unfocused. Can I get a moment to just allow His to be the only voice I hear, the only one I'm with, the only one I want? I need to be refreshed, renewed, overcome by His words alone. I don't even remember what he sounds like. Are we allowing His voice to thunder in marvelous ways? Or are we caving under the pressures of worthless opinions and empty comments.

Will you speak to me? I'm ready.

The Constant.

This weekend was wonderful. I got to get away and finally take a breather.My youth group took a trip to to Giant City State Park. We stayed in this cute log cabin, and then went rock climbing. I promise some day I will be a rock climber! I've always wanted to be that girl that owns a bunch of expensive gear and goes camping every other weekend.
Someday...

Also this weekend wasn't spiritually focused at all. We weren't forced to pray, worship, or have times set apart to look at his creation. It was quiet and relaxed. But even though there was no pressure to look for Him, it was impossible not to see Him. There was no defining moments, no "revelations" or life lessons learned.

He was just there.

I learned when I don't want to look for God, He is still there. I know this is a very elementary concept, but I experienced this constancy of God in a new way. The constancy of God is something mind-boggling. In this world nothing never lasts. People die, things break, moments end. But Christ can be trusted to be the Constant. He is the one that will not disappoint. This, my friend, is huge.

People

People inspire me. Everyday I am blown away by a quality in someone else that impresses upon me a burden to change. To change my perspective, my outlook, even what I value.

I like watching people in airports rambling on the phone. I like seeing people react to stressful situations in the grocery store. I like seeing the what people stand up for, and give into . Sometimes I wish I could just be invisible and watch, soak in, learn. When I see someone quietly offer forgiveness, let something slide, or intentionally do the unexpected...

I can see a little bit of Christ in these people. Real Christ. Not the Sunday morning, Christian high school people, but Real Christ. The Christ that shines through when they think no one really is paying attention. It is so easy to be rude, lazy, unintentional, and apathetic. That never impresses me. But when I catch a glimpse of those who strive for the best, are intentional with their words and actions, and are focused, that is when I know Christ is here.

I know He has put those people here to point others back to Christ. I want to be that person. I desire so much to be a above this apathetic state.

Christ, will you come?

First One

As I have read other people's blogs lately, I decided to start one myself. I doubt anyone will actually read this, but just as a forewarning I'm not poet or theologian, I just like writing. And unfortunatly there's not much room for creative writing anymore, leave that to the 8th graders. Good thing that's the only kind of writing I actually liked.



So where do I begin?



Ill start by telling you how several moments in my life have caused me to panic about next year. We went on a senior retreat a few weeks ago, and Mr. G talked a lot about leaving a legacy at CHS. In my head I thought, "Wait, I'm leaving"? Of course, i knew this already, but I realized that in less than seven months I'll

Never see half the people I'm sitting by

• -have to grow up and choose my career
• -have to get out of my christian high comfort bubble and face the world
• -leave my best friends and family
• -mostly, I just have to grow up

This scares me. A few months ago, i thought, "I can't wait to leave and start new." Now it's more realistic in that it's not all bliss and independence. And it would help if I knew where to go.